Five ways you might be killing your sex drive

While you may be tempted to blame faltering libido on advancing age or low testosterone, have you considered that you may actually be killing your own sex drive? If your libido feels like someone threw a bucket of cold water on it, it may be due to some controllable factors. Tenaga may give you an all-natural boost in the bedroom by supporting your vitality, but you should also check out these five ways you could be hindering your libido:

1. Constantly feeling tense or anxious. Not much can kill your libido faster than stress! Use stress-busting techniques to keep worries stemming from work, home and finances under control. Deep breathing, getting enough sleep, yoga and regular exercise may all help reduce stress. You could also keep a “stress journal” to chronicle what situations cause you the most anxiety: Research has shown that simply acknowledging that you’re stressed may help calm you.
2. Use of some prescription or over-the-counter medications. Certain drugs may impede your libido, such as certain antidepressants, antihistamines and blood pressure medications. If you’ve started a new drug and you’ve noticed your libido has gone from high-charged to ho-hum, talk to your doctor.
3. Having a negative body image. This is a libido crusher. It’s difficult to have a strong desire for sex if you don’t feel sexy yourself.  Getting regular exercise will help you feel healthier and sexier from the inside-out, and simple grooming can really boost your confidence—check out our post for some great tips for feeling spiffed-up and suave.
4. Forgetting about intimacy. This one is more for your lady! It’s difficult for women to get in the mood if they feel emotionally detached from you. Make time for intimacy before sex by doing something special for her, such as enjoying a sexy, candlelight dinner together, trading massages, taking a sensuous bubble bath together, or writing her a love letter and reading it out loud.
5. Overindulging on alcohol. While you may think that a few drinks will get your engines revved, alcohol actually has a numbing effect on your sex drive. Keep in mind that you being tipsy isn’t exactly a turn-on for most women, either.

Four ways to become a happier person

Life can be a whirlwind. Most of us today are over-scheduled, over-worked and over-stressed, so it’s no surprise that taking care of our own happiness can sometimes fall to the wayside. If you need a reminder of all the good things life has to offer, try out our four tips for getting a little dose of “happy”:

1.        Be grateful –Send thank-you cards, which unfortunately seem to be a dying art. Sending hand-written thank-you notes even for little things will make you and the receiver feel good. Not sure what to say? We like this website, which will help you compose a gracious note in just a few minutes. Another spirit-boosting exercise is to list all the things you take for granted, such as being able to eat every day, a good friend or even your 52-inch plasma TV. Even try looking at your problems from the perspective of gratitude. If you’re having relationship troubles, consider the person who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return. Someone who is bald from chemotherapy would be grateful to have a bad hair day.

2.       “Just say no” to being around grumpy, cranky people –This goes back to what your mother may have warned you about growing up—“You are who you hang out with.” While this may not be completely true, if you surround yourself with crabby people you’re going to have a difficult time feeling upbeat, and vice-versa. We humans have a tendency to absorb others’ emotions, so try to make those emotions positive ones. It also helps to spoil yourself once in awhile as a reminder that life is good! Go on vacation, take yourself out for a nice dinner or take a day off work simply to relax.

3.       Spend some time doing something you’re really good at—Everybody has different natural aptitudes. Most people find deep pleasure when they can work within their strengths as a career or as a hobby. Do numbers fascinate you? Maybe you love the thrill of sales. Do you have a knack for writing? Or would you consider yourself a “people person”? Find out what you’re good at and look for ways to immerse yourself in something that enables you to use your talents. Then, if possible, delegate tasks that are a struggle for you to people who naturally enjoy doing them.

4.       Commit random acts of kindness every day—Here are a few fun, easy ideas:

• Put a couple quarters in someone else’s parking meter or pay for the car behind you at the toll booth
• Give the restaurant manager  a compliment about your server
• Mow the yard for a neighbor who is out of town or ill
• Give the coffee drive-thru attendant an extra five bucks to pay for the person behind you
• Smile and say “hello” to a stranger
• If you’re shopping on a busy Saturday, let another driver have your parking spot
• Acknowledge a co-worker’s talents. Telling someone “I admire how well you handle yourself around our customers,” or “You are amazing with numbers,” will make them feel great about themselves and what they have to offer the world.

Go green with your sex life

We’ve heard plenty about going green at home, at work and on the road, but the latest hot topic is going green in bed! There are many ways you can green up your sex life, such as environmentally responsible dates to even how you dispose of condoms.

Show some love for your lady and Mother Earth by going green in between the sheets with our tips for a sustainable love life:

• Shower together for some steamy fun that will conserve water as well.
• Toss used condoms in the trash, not the toilet. Flushing condoms can clog pipes, treatment plants and rivers. Also, stick with latex since polyurethane condoms are essentially plastic (not biodegradable).
• Engage in some sexy foreplay by giving your partner a backrub with organic massage oil. Experiment with different fragrances. Some aromatic oils, such as jasmine and sandalwood, are considered natural aphrodisiacs, while others such as lavender may help you to de-stress.
• Keep the lights off! Energy-efficient lovemaking in the dark enhances your senses and also helps qualm body insecurities. (Did we mention you might save a little on your electric bill as well?) Candles can also create sexy silhouettes, so consider making love by candlelight for an ultra-sensuous evening.  Opt for natural beeswax candles to limit indoor air pollution.
• Instead of ordering a pizza and driving to a movie, enjoy the outdoors for a sexy date. Try a walk in the park or along the beach, or how about some star gazing? Plus, the fresh air is invigorating.
• Did you know you can also naturally support your performance? Tenaga is an herbal supplement contains PhysTA, a patented form of Tongkat Ali developed in collaboration with MIT that may not only support overall energy, but may give you a boost in the bedroom as well.
• Some foods are thought to have sexually stimulating properties, such as black pepper, asparagus, ginseng, red wine, oysters, dark chocolate and avocado.
• Avoid lubes that are made with petroleum products or artificial fragrance, flavor or color, and opt for water-based instead. Coconut and olive oils are also great alternatives, just be careful not to use them with latex.

10 surprising reasons to have an active sex life; part two

I talked to you last week about why you should be concerned if your libido has gone from overdrive to stuck in neutral. Here’s another reason why you should take action and address performance issues with your doctor: resuming an active sex life may give you some rather unexpected but welcome health benefits. 

1. It reduces pain. Sex triggers the release of the hormone oxytocin and endorphins, which may help improve your pain tolerance.
2. It may improve your sense of small. Sex causes a surge of the hormone prolactin, responsible for your ability to enjoy scents, which is important because our sense of smell tends to diminish as we age.
3. You may have fewer sniffles. Having sex a few times a week has been linked with a healthier immune system.
4. You could feel happier. Studies have associated sexual activity with an improved state of mind.
5. You might lower your blood pressure. Sex is a natural stress-reliever.
6. It burns calories. One estimate is that sex burns about five calories per minute, depending on your weight.
7. It has been linked to better cardiovascular health. An active sex life may contribute to fewer heart attacks and strokes. This is because it triggers the release of DHEA, a hormone that supports healthy circulation.
8. It makes you feel better about yourself. Loving sex raises your self esteem.
9. It can strengthen your emotional connection with your partner. High levels of oxytocin, released during sex, are believed responsible for building trust and helping us to bond.
10. Men, it reduces your risk for prostate cancer. Frequent sexual activity has been linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men.

Dr. Decker Weiss, NMD, FASA and naturopathic cardiologist, travels around the world training physicians and pharmacists on safer ways to use fewer prescriptions and provide more vitality to their patients with natural medicines. A pioneer in the application of effective natural alternatives to bypass and angioplasty, Dr. Weiss has helped over 10,000 patients with his definitive holistic approach to cardiovascular disease management. His background in preventative and integrative cardiology runs hand-in-hand with early sexual performance issues.